Blackberry crumble: Maida's way

Maida and I hit the grocery store to procure ingredients for the "award-winning" blackberry pie in her book.

I let her lead.

This recipe caught my attention because for one, it calls for frozen fruit.

Now I know it's best to use fresh, but I need fruit I can rely on (taste-wise).

I need a constant. A sure thing.

The contest is in July. It's highly likely that fruit from all four categories are NOT going to be in season at the same time. I need ingredients I can count on for flavor and texture.

The recipe calls for a granny smith apple to add another flavor element,
but also to add pectin, a natural thickening agent.

This is an open-faced pie with a crumb topping made of dark brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg and unsalted butter.

With the crumb top.

I also used Maida's pie crust recipe and I've gotta tell you. This dough was a beast to work with. I kept it as cold as possible and followed her instructions to the letter, but when I rolled it out and tried to transfer it to the pan, the whole thing crumbled to pieces in my hands.

(My husband came running when he heard me scream.)

So, I patched the dough back together as best I could.

Crust 911!

Baked it and, viola:

Finished product.

She sure won't be the prettiest girl at the party, but I hope she puts out (TASTE, people!).

I'm taking it to work today for my co-workers to help test.

Stay tuned for the results.

Pie cocktail

Pie + Cocktails. Two of my favorite things.

PIE COCKTAIL
2 oz Liquor43
1 oz fresh squeezed lime juice
3/4 oz heavy cream
*graham cracker rim

Thank you, Stark Bar. Thank you.

81 days down; it's time to call in the big guns.

Oh man. What did I get myself into?

There are 284 days -- that's about 40 weeks -- until the Fourth of July pie bake-off and I feel like I'm running out of time.

In the past 81 days, I've research and tested countless pie crust and fruit-pie recipes and so far, everything's been mediocre at best.

Since coming out of the closet at work, I've found tremendous support and encouragement, but to be honest, I'm feeling anxious realizing I've got to step it up if the quality of my pies is ever going to match my trash talk.

(I've been bragging that The Food Network someday will offer me my own series, plus wads and wads of cash to license Pie Shark merchandise. If that's not cocky...)

But despite all this talk, I've totally been spinning my wheels in the peach pie category, baking three fairly shitty test pies in a row.

Oh, what do I expect? I'm a newbie. A novice. I can't possibly master pie baking in one year's time.

Or can I?

I'm hoping a lesson from Maida will help. Since getting her book, I've spent nearly every spare minute reading it, absorbing every nugget of pie wisdom, hoping to transform my lame-ass attempts into Pie Gold.

This weekend I intend to bake at least one pie from Maida's book and I will follow her instructions to the letter. And those instructions are pretty detailed. She even tells you exactly what size eggs to use. There's one recipe that's nearly three pages long!

Help me, Obi-Wan Maida. You're my only hope.

Peach-blueberry pie results

This whole thing -- this quest to win a pie contest -- has largely been under wraps. I have told only a select few people -- pretty much just family and friends -- about this crazy goal.

Why? For one, I live in a pretty small community and I'd like to keep this on the down low here. I am, after all, trying to take down bakers who are my neighbors and my kids' friends' parents and grandmas.

But desperately needing feedback -- real, quantitative data I can use to test and perfect recipes and technique -- is essential. And so, with great apprehension, I came out of the closet to my co-workers.

I was nervous at first. Admittedly, this is a hair-brained scheme. And in a workplace where professionalism and credibility are highly valued, I didn't want to come across as, well, you know... cuckoo for cocoa puffs.

But I was delighted when my co-workers rallied around me. They loved the kitschy concept (as do I) of a total unknown entering a small community bake-off and scooping up all the prizes.

I'm also thrilled to have help eating all this pie. I never thought I'd be getting tired of peach pie (my favorite in the world) so quickly.

And so, I had help testing two variations of peach-blueberry pie. Armed with evaluation forms, paper plates and plastic ware, I set up the taste-test station in our break room and patiently (or impatiently) waited for the results.

My co-workers did not disappoint. They were eager participants who gave loads of great feedback:

Peach-blueberry #1
This pie was beautiful. Stunningly, mouthwateringly beautiful. The golden crust was picture perfect and certainly worthy of adorning the cover of Pie Weekly, a quarterly magazine that doesn't yet exist, but I just might start.

The inside of the pie was a total disaster. This pie needed to bake longer, so the fruit was tough and the filling was a runny mess. On the 20-point rating scale, it didn't fare well. Overall rating: 12.5 out of 20 

Attempt #1: Pretty, but a holy mess on the inside.
Score: 12.5

Peach-blueberry #2
My second attempt wasn't as pretty as the first, but the filing was miles ahead in terms of taste and texture. I did manage to botch this one too, by adding too much ground clove, giving the pie a heavily seasoned flavor -- and not in a good way. Overall rating: 15 out of 20. 

Attempt #2: Meh. Better, but not a winner.
Score: 15

The peach-blueberry pie verdict
My taste-testers and I agreed that the peach-blueberry combo was pretty and tasted OK, but lacked pizazz. A 20-point pie should sing in one's mouth. The clouds should part, angels should descend and one should hear the hallelujah chorus when savoring a bite. And these pies failed in that department.

The triple-berry peach I'd attempted earlier had more of a wow factor and I think it's because of the raspberries' deliciously sweet bursts of flavor. I think I'll try to develop that recipe a little more.

Lessons learned
I'm cramming years and years of baking experience into a very short amount of time. I'm learning so much from all these little successes and failures -- lessons that top bakers learn over time.

I've learned not to roll pie crust in a hot, humid house and be sure to cut steam vents wide enough so they don't seal up while baking. I've also learned to toss fruit with lemon juice to prevent browning and to add a little acidity.

Each pie is a learning opportunity. And I'm learning lots.

I've also learned that you can put anything (even a fairly shitty pie) in the break room at work and it'll get eaten. And as long as my co-workers are willing to complete my little evaluation forms, I'm feeling pretty confident that their feedback will help propel me to the ranks of the top pie bakers of all time.

They just might have to eat a lot of crappy pie to help me get there.

Pies on the go

Last week, I traveled to Alexandria, VA to attend a conference for work.

It was two and a half days of amazing.

First off, I had the opportunity to hear from leaders in my industry who shared their ups and downs, plus loads of practical advice. I filled a whole spiral notebook taking notes!

Second, being a busy mom of four (ages 11 years to 11 months), spending two nights in a hotel room, with a fluffy white comforter and an uncontested remote was pure bliss.

Room service? Yes, please.

And third, much to my delight, the trip was not without its share of pie.

Even though I didn't have time to track down the best bakery in VA to sample New England pie, it seemed as if pie was everywhere.

Reading a magazine on the flight, I learned Mother Queen Martha has a book I need to check out. Then, strolling around in Old Town Alexandria during a bit of free time, I came upon a fancy-schmancy cooking store where I learned of Mother Queen Maida, who apparently wrote the Bible of pie books. The store clerk raved and raved about the book, so I just had to order my very own copy.

And then, in the cutest children's boutique, I found this:

OMG. Crazy cute.

If not for the fact I had no way to get it into my already over-stuffed suitcase, I would've bought it right on the spot.

The trip left me pumped (for work) and primed (for pie making).

It couldn't have been that good.

To sweep the Fourth of July pie contest, I'll need to bake and submit four pies. Unfortunately, I only have one pie plate.

So, during a weekend of cleaning out closets and hauling various items to my local thrift store, I perused the bake ware to see if I could score some good pie pans.

I found this:

I doubt the pies lived up to the claim.

I considered getting it, but ultimately passed.

You know, because of bad ju-ju.