Learning pie

I printed off the day's festivities from the village website.

8 a.m. -- Firecracker Four race
9 a.m. -- Kids' Bike Parade
11 a.m. -- Drop off pies for Pie Baking Contest
Noon -- Pie Judging
1:30 -- Bed Races
4 p.m. -- The Big Parade
Dusk -- Fireworks

My curiosity was piqued. I've gone to our neighborhood Fourth of July celebration ever since I was a kid, but this was the first time I noticed the pie baking contest on the schedule.

I'm a pretty good cook and I can bake a decent cake. But I have never mastered a pie.

Everyone loves pie, but not everyone can make a good one. Cakes and cookies are hard to screw up - unless (in my opinion) you add nuts, but pies...

Pies are a challenge.

For starters, the crust is intimidating, which is why I always buy pre-made crusts. Making crusts from scratch is hard. They're delicate and finicky. Easily torn and easily burned -- despite my attempts to fashion protective foil collars.

Then there's the filling. I've baked two apple pies in my life where I've peeled, cored and sliced the apples. Each time, my hands cramped, completing the tedious task. After that, I typically opted for store-bought pie filling. But those taste generic. Bland. Factory made.

I always wished I could make a good pie. But sadly, up until this point, it simply wasn't meant to be.

And so I was intrigued to see true pie masters, presenting their finest -- in a competition no less.

And after dragging my husband to the community room in the library, where the contest was held, I marveled at each pie, studying their composition, guessing their ingredients and marveling at the intricate designs.

"You could do this," my husband whispered in my ear.

I looked at him in disbelief.

"Seriously. You could make a pie as good as these."

His vote of confidence was endearing -- and ridiculously off mark. I suck at making pies. Period.

"My pies suck," I reminded him, without hesitation. "But still, it'd be cool to sweep in here, a total unknown -- a Cinderella story -- and win this competition."

I gave a wink, indicating my jest.

But as I sat there and watched the judging unfold, I questioned why I'd been so quick to dismiss my ability to learn to pie making. My self-doubt morphed into confidence -- and then cockiness.

Why couldn't I learn? Why shouldn't I try?

And with that, I made up my mind to Learn Pie -- to learn to craft the perfect crust, the most tantalizing blends of fresh fruit and berries, the smoothest, creamiest cream pies imaginable.

My first step will be to get a copy of the contest rules. I want to know the criteria by which each pie was judged.

Plus, I want to know which pies typically win pie baking contests. Is there a trend? Are certain flavors en vogue now? I have to know the answers so I don't waste my time learning pies that aren't prize worthy.

From there, I'll focus on a category: Berry.

Berries are in season, so now is the perfect time to explore this variety. Blueberries, boysenberries, raspberries, and the ever-popular triple berry pie. I'll have to test several to find my winner.

It's going to be a long, tough road. But I'm up for the challenge -- and hopefully my husband, neighbors and co-workers are up for the challenge of being my taste-testers. I'll need objective opinions and an unbiased rating system to weed through these pies.

And I'll need plenty of moral support. I almost deleted this post -- and this whole blog to boot -- several times while writing this, worrying and wondering if I'm biting off more than I can chew. (So to speak.)

So, we'll see how this goes. The great pie experiment. It'll either end in total failure -- or supreme Pie Shark victory.

Only time will tell.